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Season 16
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Information outside this document:
../THOH XV reviews (FABF23)
../Midnight Rx reviews
../Season 16th press release
about
This page will guide you to the Simpsons season 16 by revealing every week bit by bit more and more about upccoming episodes. It offers pictures and promotional transcripts with audio files when they are available. This document is divided onto three parts which consist of promotional stuff before season start which has rumours and speculations about new episodes, episodes and Season 17 feature. If you have any additional info to share with this page – feel free to us!
season 16
transcript
Announcer: On November 7th… (Shot of OFF walking in front of some high-tech ship with a shrinking ray pointed at it. Frink and a shirtless Burns look on through a window above.)
Announcer: … ‘The Simpsons’ 16th Season… (Cut to a close up of Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa all standing in front of the ship in spacesuits with helmets under their arms.)
Announcer: … begins. (Cut to shot of Homer lying (dead?) on his work station console. Cut to nuclear explosion, then to a scene of Marge, Bart and Lisa falling to the ground in the ship.)
Announcer: With all new action! (The ship flies through a vein filled with blood cells. Cut to scene in the dining room of Homer shoveling kabobs into his mouth and throwing the sticks out the window, into Abe’s back.)
Abe: My back pain’s cured! (Another stick flies into his back.) Abe: That was one too many. (He falls to the ground.)
Announcer: More romance! (Scene of teen Homer & Marge kissing (in a barn?) is shown, followed by a scene of Marge kneeling on the floor in the bathroom. Homer comes in on stilts, so only his feet are visible.) Homer: I learned to walk naked on stilts! (Cut to scene of red headed lady screaming.)
Announcer: And it all starts with the all-new [deeper voice TREEHOUSE OF HORROR! (A shadow that looks like Jack the Ripper is scene stabbing the woman to death. Lightning crackles over a shot of a very London-esque town (Springfield? Didn’t look like it.) Cut to a shot of OFF in an oven, with Bart in a frying pan, Lisa in a pot, Maggie and Marge in pies and Homer in…something, but he’s clearly taken a few bites out of himself and is chewing)
Older Alien: What a delicious meal, I’m going to burst! (Cut to a shot of a big fat old Rigellian in K&K’s ship. K&K look like they’re hoping that the other guy is pleased with them. The fatter one bursts, and out comes Bart.)
Bart: Coooool, I’m vomit!
Announcer: Sunday night belongs to ‘The Simpsons’, only on FOX!
second transcript
Announcer: The Simpsons’ epic 16th Season kicks off with the annual Tree House of Horror! (an intergalactic oven opens up to reveal OFF roasting inside)
Kang: Is dinner ready yet?
Kodos [pointing at Homer]: This one keeps eating himself! (Homer takes a few cannibalistic bites out of his own flesh. Cut to Frink laughing maniacally and pulling a lever.)
Announcer: When a mad scientist shrinks Maggie and traps her inside Mr. Burns… (Scenes are shown of Maggie playing in a giant pill that looks like a ball pit, the pill getting shrunk down, Burns swallowing the pill and Maggie playing inside the pill inside Burns’ stomach. Cut to a scene of Frink and OFF standing by Burns who lies on an operating table. Homer sticks his arm down Monty’s throat.)
Homer: I’ve got her! (He pulls out an organ from Burns’ body)
Homer: No, wait. This is yours. (He tosses it back in. Cut to OFF in their flight suits being shrunk down.)
Announcer: …The Simpsons take a fantastic voyage inside the belly of the boss! (Scenes of Frink injecting mini-OFF into Burns’ neck, OFF speeding through his bloodscream and Burns lying on the table are shown. Burns’ belly enlarges and an explosion is heard. Cut to Frink holding up a flight suit.)
Frink: Can you fit into a large flight suit?
Homer: No! It’ll show my boobs and ride my crack! (sobs)
Announcer: Sunday, November 7th, the Simpsons Tree House of Horror is all-new. And it’s only on FOX!
third transcript
This promo aired during the Yankees game. Not sure if it’ll actually show up in the season…
Homer: We’re #1! We’re #1! We’re #…d’oh! (He gets conked in the head by a baseball.)
Bart: Hitting a homer — it’s the greatest thrill in baseball.
Announcer: In a world dominated by dark and cold reality, the time has come for a new breed of hero. Now, more than ever, the world needs a super man…
rumours
Simpsons creator Matt Groening hinted over the weekend at San Diego’s Comic-Con convention that someone on the ‘toon would be coming out of the closet this season — and may even get married! Groening wouldn’t say who, but TV Guide Online has learned that Patty Bouvier and Edna Krabappel were recently spotted inquiring about a bridal registry at Home Depot.
Ice princess Michelle Kwan and Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp are the first two MVPs to sign up for The Simpsons’ post-Super Bowl episode.
Archbishop of Canterbury (and self-proclaimed Simpsons fanatic) Rowan Williams has been invited by producers to make a pit stop in Springfield. “We’d love to have him on the show,” exec producer Al Jean tells Reuters. “It’s a great thrill that the archbishop is such a fan.” A rep for the archbishop says no formal offer has been made, but added that “It would be a very intriguing prospect.”
The Simpsons has been going strong for over 15 seasons and Bart has had many girlfriends during the show. There was the reverend’s daughter, Jessica, the next door neighbour, Laura, and of course the action movie star’s daughter, Greta. But now we are in season number 16, and he’s on a date with not one, but two girls! Yes, as big Simpsons fans already know, Bart will be going out with the twin girls of Springfield, Sherri and Terri. This episode is a parody of the playboy 1970’s-ish lifestyle, guest starring James Caan. The “Bart dating Sherri and Terri” point in the episode is only a gag in the episode, not a major plot point.
confirmed dates
From the No Homer’s by Ryan Barber:
FABF20 – All’s Fair in Oven War – Written by Matt Selman (Season 16 Premiere) Nov 14
Marge competes at the Ovenfresh Bake-Off, and will do anything to win. Meanwhile, Bart finds Homer’s old Playdude magazines and decides to adopt the swinging 70s lifestyle. Thomas Pynchon and James Caan guest star.
FABF19 – Sleeping With the Enemy – Written by Jon Vitti – Nov 21
Marge becomes motherly towards Nelson Muntz, as he has no parental figure, and lets him stay in the Simpson household. Not wanting to share a room with his longtime tormentor, Bart tries to reunite the Muntzes. Also, Lisa develops a self-esteem problem. (for those interested, this episode was directed by Lauren Macmullan)
FABF23 – Treehouse of Horror XV – Written by Bill Odenkirk – Nov. 7
The fifteenth annual Novemberween special. Here’s what we know about the three acts so far (the order is not yet confirmed):
– In a parody of Fantastic Voyage, someone will go inside Burns’ body.
– A plot that involves Ned Flanders seeing into the future.
– A plot in which Lisa solves a murder mystery in a Sherlock Holmes fashion.
The order is now confirmed, and it will go as follows:
– Four Beheadings and a Funeral: Lisa and Bart try to catch a Jack-the-Ripper-esque serial killer in Victorian-era London.
– The Ned Zone: Ned gains the powers to see people’s deaths.
– In a parody of Fantastic Voyage, Maggie is trapped inside Burns’ body, and the other Simpsons must go inside to save her. (No name has been given for this one yet.)
GABF02 – Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass – Feb. 6 (following Super Bowl XXXIX)
After Homer inadvertently performs a wild crowd-pleasing dance at a local carnival, he will stumble across a new career as a “victory dance choreographer.” After working for defensive tackle Warren Sapp, quarterback Tom Brady, basketballers LeBron James and Yao Ming, and figure skater Michelle Kwan (all voicing themselves), he’s called upstairs to choreograph the Super Bowl halftime show. In over his head, Homer turns to neighbor Ned for help. Together they create a clean and classy, non-violent, deeply meaningful halftime show, only to have America turn on them for such a “blatant display of decency.”
FABF16 – Midnight RX – Nov. 14
No official description as of yet, but it might revolve around prescription drugs. Season 16 premiere.
FABF22 – She Used to Be My Girl – Written by Tim Long DECEMBER 5
No description yet, and it won’t be the gay marriage episode.
confirmed titles, no dates
FABF16 – Midnight RX
Grampa and Homer go to Canada to smuggle prescription drugs, since Abe can no longer afford the jacked-up prices for pills in the U.S.
FABF19 – Sleeping With the Enemy – Written by Jon Vitti
Marge becomes motherly towards Nelson Muntz, as he has no parental figure, and lets him stay in the Simpson household. (for those interested, this episode was directed by Lauren Macmullan)
FABF20 – All’s Fair in Oven War – Written by Matt Selman
After Homer suddenly develops a knack for cooking, he unwittingly competes against Marge in a bake-off.
FABF21 – Fat Man and Little Boy – Written by Joel H. Cohen
Bart has a mid-life crisis after he loses his last baby tooth following a Saving Private Ryan-style spitball fight with Lisa, Rod, Todd and Janey.
(Added by Ryan 16/8/04)
FABF22 – She Used to Be My Girl – Written by Tim Long (This might be the Patty lesbian episode)
GABF01 – Mommie Beerest
Marge begins serving at Moe’s; Homer fears a loss of privacy.
GABF03 – Pranksta Rap
Bart sneaks off to attend a rap concert, featuring 50 Cent (guesting as himself), without his parents’ permission. When Homer and Marge realize their son is missing, he fakes his own kidnapping to avoid punishment. This episode will air in 2005.
GABF04 – There’s Something About Marrying – Written by J. Stewart Burns
In order to raise money, Springfield legalizes gay marriage, and Homer registers to become a minister. A longtime character will come out of the closet. As has been stated in this post before, this might be Patty. Will air in January.
GABF05 – On a Clear Day I Can’t See My Sister – Written by Jeff Westbrook
Lisa gets a restraining order against Bart. Gary Busey will guest star, narrating a video called ‘So You’ve Got a Restraining Order.’ (A rerun of Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass airs at 9:30pm ET.)
GABF06 – Goo Goo Gai Pan
Selma goes to China in an attempt to adopt a baby, but since single women can’t adopt, she must pretend that Homer is her husband.
GABF07 – Mobile Homer – Written by Tim Long
No description yet.
GABF08 – The Seven-Beer Snitch – Written by Bill Odenkirk
Possible plot: Homer becomes an informant to Mr. Burns after being thrown in jail.
GABF10 – Don’t Fear the Roofer – Written by Kevin Curran
Homer has a new best friend in roofer Ray Magini (Ray Romano)… or does he?
GABF11 – The Heartbroke Kid – Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham
No description yet.
GABF12 – Future-Drama – Written by Matt Selman
A visit to a psychic prompts another flash forward–this time, we go eight years into the future, as Bart and Lisa graduate high school. Maggie might have a speaking role. We’ll see.
confirmed guest stars (without episodes yet)
Journalist Chloe Talbot
Architect Frank Gehry
Author Thomas Pynchon
Joe Mantegna, once again reprising his role as Fat Tony
Eric Idle, reprising his ‘Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky role as Declan Desmond
Stephen Hawking (yes, again)
Liam Neeson voices a priest who helps Bart and Homer consider converting to Catholicism (Homer likes the part with the wine)
James Caan visits Bart’s treehouse after he converts it to a junior Playboy Mansion
Lucy Liu plays a bureaucrat when Homer pretends to be married to Marge’s gravel-voiced sister Selma so she can adopt a Chinese baby.
Fantasia Barrino (as a talent-show competitor, natch),
Kim Cattrall (as Marge’s former schoolmate turned glam newscaster)
Ray Romano (as a new pal for Homer)
Houston Rocket Yao Ming (as himself).
Gary Busey will appear as the narrator of videotape titled So You’ve Got a Restraining Order.
American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino
Ricky Gervais, and he will also be writing the episode. No word yet on a plot.
unconfirmed/untitled plotlines and other rumors
In order to raise money, Springfield legalizes gay marriage, and Homer registers to become a minister. A longtime character will come out of the closet. As has been stated in this post before, this might be Patty. Could be FABF22. This episode has been apparently scheduled for January. This will be moved up to the top once a specific date is given.
Mayor Quimby faces a recall election similar to the one that unseated ex-California governor Gray Davis. No word on if Rainier Wolfcastle will be running, but this joke seems inevitable.
Bart and Lisa’s visit to a psychic prompts another futuristic fantasy sequence– this time eight years in the future, when both of them are graduating high school at the same time. Maggie might have a speaking role.
Lisa gets a restraining order against Bart. The plot will include guest star Gary Busey, who will narrate a video called ‘So You’ve Got a Restraining Order.’
Bart turns his treehouse into a miniature Playboy Mansion. James Caan will be one of Bart’s guests. (This has a good chance to be The Heartbroke Kid).
Homer befriends a local roofer, Ray Magini (Ray Romano).
In one new episode, Homer is in change of planning the Super Bowl halftime show but can’t think of an idea, so he turns to Ned Flanders for help. Ultimately, the halftime entertainment offends viewers by being too wholesome and religious.
Grandpa Simpson has trouble affording prescription medicine, so he and Homer smuggle it out of Canada. ”It becomes a little like Midnight Express,”
Liam Neeson voices a priest who helps Bart and Homer become Catholic. Looks like Bart’s gonna get his free food and booze after all, eh?
Bart goes to fat camp. Albert Brooks returns for the first time since season 8 to voice the counselor.
Lisa participates in an American Idol-esque talent competition. Fantasia Barrino (an AI winner) guest stars as Clarissa, one of the other contestants.
—
treehouse of horror XV
synopsis
“The Ned Zone”: Ned sees into the future – and sees himself killing Homer.
“In the Belly of the Boss”: When a giant medicine capsule that is shrunk and then swallowed by Mr. Burns has an added ingredient – Maggie – the other Simpsons shrink down and go into Mr. Burns’s body “Fantastic Voyage”-style in order to rescue her.
“Four Beheadings and a Funeral”: the Muttonchop Murder’s reign of terror over London in the days of Queen Victoria may soon be over, thanks to detective Eliza Simpson and her assistant Dr. Bartley.
transcript
Homer: This calls for an out of shape amateur!
Announcer: Starting November 7th…
Frink: Bionauts, assemble!
Homer: Captain!
Lisa: Science Officer!
Bart: Security!
Marge: Marge!
Announcer: …The Simpsons’ epic 16th season begins on FOX…
Bart: My God!
Announcer: …with a new blockbuster episode every Sunday night.
Homer: Woohoo!
Homer: Can you press stop when my popcorn’s ready?
Homer: Uh oh.
Ned: You stupid son of a…
Bart: Be there or be square.
Ralph: I wanna be a triangle!
Dr. Hibbert: Welcome back, dawg.
Marge: The excitement never stops.
Announcer: Plus, the Simpsons milestone you’ve been waiting 16 years to see…
Homer: Marge…I’ve learned to walk naked on stilts!
Announcer: November 2nd, the Simpsons’ epic 16th season begins.
Marge: Why is my swimsuit so small?
Homer: Because that’s what turns a mediocre voyage into a FANTASTIC voyage! [growls]
Announcer: On the only place to see all new episodes of the Simpsons…FOX!
Listen audio file of fourth transcript (low quality)
all’s fair in oven war
synopsis
Sunday, Nov. 14 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT), on the official 16th season premiere of THE SIMPSONS, actor James Caan and writer Thomas Pynchon guest-star as themselves. When Bart fishes Homer’s vintage “Playdude” magazines out of the trash, he decides to adopt the ring-a-ding-ding lifestyle of the 1970s, as interpreted by a 10-year-old. Meanwhile, Marge stoops to sabotage to keep up with the other contestants during the Ovenfresh Bakeoff.
transcript
Announcer: The Simpsons’ epic 16th Season premiere, where Bart discovers the facts of life. (Cut to scenes of Bart looking at a previously cut-out Playdude centerfold, Bart and Milhouse laughing as they read Playdudes, and Homer talking in a decorated treehouse) Homer: The biological method by which children are created is… (cut to outside of treehouse)
Bart: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! (Cut to a Simpsonized James Caan smiling)
Announcer: James Caan guest stars… (Caan pulls up to a tollbooth in his car with Brandine sitting in the passenger’s seat)
James Caan: A tollbooth? (A couple of slack-jawed yokels appear and fire gunshots at Caan through his windshield. Cut to a forlorn Lisa in a kitchen.)
Lisa: I guess dad has to be my hero now. Bart: [huddled in the corner, rocking back and forth] Not if you know what he’s been doing. (Bart moans and shudders.) Announcer: The Simpsons season premiere, at 8/7c, Sunday on FOX!
Listen audio file of the transcript (high quality)
pictures
sleeping with the enemy
synopsis
Bart has a new roommate – Nelson, who is taken in by Marge when she feels her own kids are ignoring her; Lisa lets schoolyard teasing get to her physically.
transcripts
Announcer: On The Simpsons’ epic 16th season, Lisa discovers that she’s inherited the Simpson Curse. (A scene of Lisa in a clothing store is shown. As she looks into a mirror, she sees herself transformed into a fatter version, and screams. Cut to a scene of Lisa bending over in front of Springfield Elementary.)
Janey, Sherri & Terri [in unison]: Lisa has a big butt! (Cut to OFF’s living room where Homer advises Lisa on how to conceal her posterior)
Homer: To downsize my derriere, I just tie a sweater around it. See? (He does so, but his bottom looks as big as ever, causing Lisa to look horrified.)
Announcer: All-new Simpsons, 8/7c, FOX Sunday.
Listen audio file of the transcript
Announcer: FOX Sunday – The Simpsons’ epic 16th Season delivers a blockbuster bombshell! There’s a new addition to the family… (Cut to a scene of Bart watching Nelson and Marge interact in front of OFF’s house.)
Bart: My mother? My bully? My God! (cut to a scene of Nelson punching Bart at the kitchen table)
Announcer: …when The Simpsons adopt the toughest kid in town. (cut to Marge and Nelson in a bowling alley, taking down their scores)
Nelson: My mom works at Hooters, but her dream is to work at a real strip club!
Announcer: There’s only one place for all-new Simpsons, at 8/7c, Sunday on FOX!
Listen audio file of the transcript
pictures
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
She Used To Be My Girl
synopsis
Marge becomes jealous when Lisa looks up to Marge’s old high school friend, a worldly newscaster. Sex and the City ‘s Kim Cattrall guest voices in an all new episode of The Simpsons Sunday December 5 8/7c
transcript
Announcer: FOX Sunday, is Sex in the City’s Kim Catrall desperate for Marge’s mate (scenes of Chloe coming to OFF’s door at night and Homer waving at her out of the window are shown. Cut to OFF’s living room.)
Chloe: Homer’s a wonderful man.
Homer [spazzing out on the floor]: (couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it sounded like “Isuckdoh” or “ahhstuckbone” or something)
Marge: Did you just swallow another bone?
Homer: Same one!
Announcer: The Simpsons! All-new at 8/7c, FOX Sunday!
Listen audio file of the transcript
second transcript
Announcer: FOX Sunday on an all-new Simpsons, Sex in the City’s Kim Catrall steams up the men of Springfield. (OFF is shown in the living room standing in front of a Wheel of Fortune type wheel as Homer and Bart laugh. Cut to Chloe standing at OFF’s door holding a bowl and then to a scene from “Large Marge” with Springfield’s men peering in through OFF’s window. Cut to Marge in the bathroom. Homer enters, on stilts.)
Homer: I’ve learned to walk naked on stilts!
Listen audio file of the transcript
pictures
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Fat Man And Little Boy
synopsis
When Bart writes slogans on t-shirts, he catches the attention of Goose Gladwell, a gag gift entrepreneur, and soon becomes a t-shirt mogul. With Bart now the breadwinner, Homer feels he no longer has a place in the family. In order to feel more useful, Homer begins spending more time with Lisa, including watching documentaries by scholar Declan Desmond (guest star Eric Idle). But when Gladwell is revealed as a fraud, Homer steps in to show him who’s really boss.
transcript
Announcer: FOX Sunday, on an all-new Simpsons, Homer turns a science project into a nuclear bombshell. (Homer is seen in a robber’s outfit complete w/knit cap stealing a plutonium rod from SNPP. Cut to Homer in the basement with his computer hooked up to a display labeled “The History of Nuclear Physics”. Cut to Homer standing in front of and lifting the project which causes his insides to be viewed ala an x-ray. Cut to Lisa, who holds a Krusty-brand Geiger counter in hand.)
Lisa: It could explode!
Homer: If it does, I’ll bet you get an ‘A’. (The nuclear explosion from FABF23 is shown.)
Announcer: All-new Simpsons, 8/7c, FOX!
pictures
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Midnight Rx
synopsis
Homer and Grandpa smuggle prescription drugs from Canada a’la Midnight Express.
transcript
Announcer: FOX Sunday, take off on the biggest aviator adventure ever … (A scene of a plane flying is shown. Cut to the inside where Grampa, Homer and Burns all stand next to boxes [of drugs?]. Burns jumps out of the plane and deploys his parachute as Homer and Grampa look on. Cut to Homer in the pilot’s seat, flying, as Grampa stands next to him.)
Homer: We’ll make it on a wing and a prayer! (Cut to the outside of the plane, as the left wing breaks off. Cut back to the inside of the
plane.)
Homer: D’oh!
Announcer: …on an all-new Simpsons!
Listen audio file of the transcript
pictures
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Mommie Beerest
synopsis
When Moe needs money to save his bar, Homer has the solution: take out another mortgage on the Simpson house. In order to protect the investment, Marge becomes Moe’s business partner. Marge invades Homer’s space when she starts serving at Moe’s.
transcript
Announcer: FOX Sunday, it’s a bigger break-up than Brad & Jennifer, when Marge leaves Homer for Moe. (Homer and Marge are shown in their bedroom. Marge demonstrates her drunk tossing abilities by throwing her husband out of the door, sending him crashing headfirst into the hallway wall. Cut to Moe, in sunglasses and a swanky new outfit, getting out of a taxi in front of OFF’s house. Cut back to Homer and Marge in the room.)
Marge: We kinda bonded.
Homer: Bonded!?! [worried] How many times? (cut to Marge and Moe in a commercial plane, as Moe pours some liquor from a flask into Marge’s glass.)
Announcer: An all-new Simpsons, 8/7c, FOX Sunday!
Listen audio file of the transcript
Announcer: How far will Homer go to stop Marge from jetting away with Moe? (Moe is scene relaxing in a plane seat as it goes down the runway, but is startled as he looks out the window to see Homer chasing him on the stair car. Cut to the inside of the plane, where Homer barges in, covered in a blue liquid.)
Marge: How’d you get in here?
Homer: Toilet hole. (Homer shakes off the toilet water, canine style.)
Announcer: On an all new Simpsons!
Listen audio file of the transcript
pictures
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 – 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass
synopsis
In post-Super Bowl XXXIX episode, “Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass,” after Homer inadvertently performs a wild, crowd-pleasing dance at a local carnival, he is hired by several sports figures – including Brady, James, Sapp, Yao and Kwan, guest-starring as themselves – to choreograph their victory dances. After his dances prove successful, Homer is tapped to choreograph the Super Bowl halftime show. Panicked the night before the event, Homer enlists the help of his neighbor, Ned Flanders, and together they put on a non-violent, deeply meaningful halftime show that America chastises for its blatant display of decency.
transcript
Announcer: After the Super Bowl, only one event can bring together Yao Ming, Warren Sapp, Tom Brady, Lebron James and Michelle Kwan… (Michelle Kwan and Milhouse are seen in OFF’s backyard.)
Kwan: You remind me of a young Dorothy Hammil.
Milhouse: I didn’t know you could talk!
Announcer: It’s the Simpsons 16th Season half-time sh…
Homer: D’oh! (Cut to Homer and an executive.)
Executive: We want you to produce this year’s half time show. (A shot from FABF20 of a crowd gasping is shown. Cut to Homer in a cap and shirt labeled “choreographer” giving a thumbs up on a football field.)
Announcer: It’s so unpredictable, we can only show it after the game! (Scenes of Marge, Milhouse and Luanne looking shocked, a football player decking a leprechaun mascot, a player on a Segway scooter rolling across the field, trailing a sign reading “Everyone Sucks But Me”, an announcer looking shocked and Homer dancing on a “Test Your Strength” pole are shown. Cut to Homer driving at night.)
Homer: I wonder if any other Super Bowl producers waited until three in the morning the night before to plan their half time shows?
Announcer: The Simpsons Halftime Sh—d’oh! In one week, after the Super Bowl, on FOX!
Listen audio file of the transcript
second transcript
Announcer: After the Super Bowl, the real spectacle begins. You haven’t seen a halftime show, until you’ve seen it…Simpson style! (Also Sprach Zarathustra plays as the sun rises behind a yellow sphere. Two black lines pop up and curve to form Homer’s hair strands. Cut to Homer and an executive.)
Executive: We want you to produce this year’s Super Bowl half time show. (A shot from FABF20 of a crowd gasping is shown.)
Announcer: It’s the Simpsons Epic 16th Season half-time sh…
Homer: D’oh! (Cut to fireworks over a stadium. Homer, in biblical attire, stands in the middle of the field on a rock, as a Duff Blimp pours water onto the ground, flooding the arena.)
Announcer: Even we don’t know what Homer’s planning, so we can only show it after the big game. (Scenes of another crowd gasping, and Homer dancing on a “Test Your Strength” pole are shown. Cut to Homer and Marge on the couch.)
Homer: [disappointed] Ohhhhh.
Announcer: Until then, you’ll just have to imagine it. (Cut to Homer standing outside.)
Homer: Are you there brain? (A dream cloud pops up, with toasters flying in it.)
Homer: I wish I was a screensaver.
Announcer: The Simpsons Halftime Sh—d’oh! In one week, after the Super Bowl, on FOX!
Listen audio file of the transcript
pictures
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Pranksta Rap
synopsis
After sneaking out of the house to attend a 50 Cent concert and getting nabbed by Marge and Homer, Bart fakes his own kidnapping, hiding out in Kirk Van Houten’s bachelor pad, to prevent being grounded. It’s up to Springfield’s finest – bumbling Police Chief Clancy Wiggum – to save him. Inspired by an apparition of Barney Fife, Wiggum cracks the case, rescues Bart and is promoted to Police Commissioner, while wrongly-imprisoned Kirk becomes a ladies’ man among the felon-loving singles of Springfield.
transcript
Announcer: In one week, it’s the FOX Valentine’s spectacular! (A scene of Homer stuck in the doggie door part of OFF’s back door is shown.)
Homer: Why must I be so voluptuous? (Cut to Bart’s room, where Bart, in an orange hoodie, hops out of his window. Cut to Bart at the concert, where the rapper onstage drops his microphone, which rolls into Bart’s arms.)
Announcer: Bart discovers his true love: gangsta rap! (Cut to a scene of Lisa, Skinner and a gathering of thuggish types in a shoe store, watching Bart on a monitor, rapping onstage at the concert.)
Bart: Homer is a fat-load. (Homer is seen stepping back as the monitor crashes down, causing all of the gangsters to pull out guns, aiming at
him.)
Announcer: The Simpsons!
Listen audio file of the transcript
pictures
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There’s Something About Marrying
synopsis
In order to raise money, Springfield legalizes gay marriage, and Homer registers to become a minister. A longtime character will come out of the closet. As has been stated in this post before, this might be Patty.
transcript
Announcer: Springfield legalizes same sex marriage, and you won’t believe who comes out. (Scenes of Selma prepping Patty for her wedding in Lisa’s room, Burns and Smithers in the church auditorium from GABF02, Eddie and Lou in a courtroom and Lenny and Carl in a movie theater from GABF02 are shown. Cut to a fantasy of Homer making out with… Homer.)
Homer: I love you Homer.
Homer: I love you too Homer.
Homer: Mmm, Homer.
Announcer: The Simpsons, all-new, part of a full hour at 8/7c, FOX Sunday! Viewer discretion advised.
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second transcript
Announcer: It’s controversial… (A scene of a crowd of gay couples walking from town hall, across the street to the church is shown.)
Announcer: It’s divided a nation… (A man in a wedding gown stands in front of the Jebediah Springfield statue with his veiled bride. He lifts the veil to reveal a mouth adorned with a hairy moustache.)
Announcer: Springfield legalizes same sex marriage, and you won’t believe who comes out. (Scenes of Selma prepping Patty for her wedding in Lisa’s room, Wiggum and two muscular gay guys standing on the steps of the Springfield Police Department, Moe in a ta-da pose from GABF01, Burns and Smithers in the church auditorium from GABF02 and Lenny and Carl in a movie theater from GABF02 are shown. Cut to Marge, who stands in front of Lovejoy amidst a crowd of soaked gay
couples.)
Marge: As long as two people love each other, I don’t care whether they both have the same hoo-hoo or ha-ha! (Nelson pops in from off screen.)
Nelson: Haw haw!
Announcer: The Simpsons, all-new, part of a full hour at 8/7c, FOX Sunday! Viewer discretion advised.
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On a Clear Day I Can’t See My Sister
synopsis
Goo Goo Gai Pan
synopsis
After watching a video on menopause, hosted by guest voice Robert Wagner, Selma realizes that she missed her chance to have a baby and decides to adopt a baby girl from China. Selma encounters a bump in the road when the application asks for her husband’s name. In an act of desperation, she puts down “Homer Simpson.” Soon, Selma and the Simpsons are off to China to pick up her baby girl, while Homer must pretend to be her husband. When their charade is finally revealed, the functionary, Madam Yu (guest voice Liu), takes Selma’s baby back. Homer and the gang must devise a plan to rescue the baby from the orphanage on THE SIMPSONS episode “Goo Goo Gai Pan” Sunday, March 13 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (SI-1606) (TV-PG)
Mobile Homer
synopsis
The Seven-Beer Snitch
synopsis
Future-Drama
synopsis
Don’t Fear the Roofer
synopsis
A storm hits Springfield, causing the Simpson roof to leak. Unable to keep a roof over his family’s head, a downtrodden Homer seeks companionship at a bar called Knockers. There, he befriends a beer-loving roofer, Ray (guest voice Ray Romano), who agrees to help Homer with the repairs. When Homer’s new best friend never shows up, Marge and Dr. Hibbert conclude that he’s a figment of Homer’s imagination and place Homer in a mental hospital. But, Homer and Ray may have the last laugh.
The Heartbroke Kid
synopsis
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upcoming episodes
On A Clear Day, I Can’t See My Sister, GABF05
Lisa gets a restraining order against Bart. Gary Busey guest stars.
Goo Goo Gai Pan, GABF06
Selma tries to adopt a child in China. Lucy Liu guest stars.
Mobile Homer, GABF07
No description yet.
The Seven Beer Snitch, GABF08
Homer becomes an informant to Mr. Burns after being thrown in jail.
The Father, The Son and the Holy Guest Star, GABF09
No description yet, but it might be the Catholicism episode, with Liam Neeson as the ‘holy guest star’.
Don’t Fear the Roofer, GABF10
Homer makes a new friend. Ray Romano guest stars.
The Heartbroke Kid, GABF11
In the milestone 350th episode, “The Heartbroke Kid,” Bart becomes addicted to junk food when a new vending machine is installed at Springfield Elementary. His steady diet of processed foods leads to a massive weight gain and health issues. When he’s unable to stick to his prescribed low-fat diet, the Simpsons stage an intervention and ship Bart off to “Serenity Ranch – A Forced Starvation Facility,” headed up by former food addict Tab Spangler (guest star Albert Brooks). While Spangler tries to help Bart overcome his obsession, Homer and Marge turn their home into a hostel for German travelers in order to pay for the costly Serenity Ranch.
season 17
The 2005-2006 season includes an episode where in which Moe, with the aid of Lisa, becomes a Charles Bukowski-like poet. Also, Bart will start spending more time with Marge, until bullies accuse him of being a mama’s boy.
Mayor Quimby faces a recall election similar to the one that unseated ex-California governor Gray Davis. No word on if Rainier Wolfcastle will be running, but this joke seems inevitable.
plotlines
Please note: these plotlines may serve as their own episodes, or they could be subplots tied together.
Liam Neeson voices a priest who helps Bart and Homer become Catholic. Looks like Bart’s gonna get his free food and booze after all, eh?
Lisa participates in an American Idol-esque talent competition. Fantasia Barrino (an AI winner) guest stars as Clarissa, one of the other contestants.
Homer dies, goes to Heaven and meets God, who he gets into an argument with. (Matt Groening has assured that Homer will return to Earth.)
Mayor Quimby faces a recall election similar to the one that unseated ex-California governor Gray Davis. No word on if Rainier Wolfcastle will be running, but this joke seems inevitable.(Season 17)
Moe discovers a knack for poetry, with a little help from Lisa. (Season 17)
Bart finds himself spending more time with Marge (with the aid of a tandem bicycle) until bullies accuse him of being a “mama’s boy.” (Season 17)
episode titles
– Treehouse Of Horror XVI
– The Girl Who Slept Too Little
– The Bonfire Of The Manatees
– Milhouse Of Sand And Fog
– Marge’s Son Poisoning
– See Homer Run
– The Last Of The Red Hot Mamas
– My Fair Laddy
credits
Special thanks to Stephen Brown and Ryan Barber and various contributors in a.t.s.
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