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The Simpsons Folder


Who’s gonna be killed off?
January 14, 2000, By Bill Brioux, Toronto Sun

Brace yourselves, Simpsons fans. Some time in the next few weeks there’s going to be a death in Springfield. Executive producer Mike Scully has let the cat out of the bag this week during the 10th-anniversary press conference on the TV critics tour.

Scully also mentioned that February is sweeps month.

“I just noticed that,” he lied.

Scully wouldn’t give any details, only that it would be one of the regular characters.

It won’t be the first time a resident of Springfield has passed away. Lisa’s old music teacher, “Bleeding Gums” Murphy, has already gone on to ‘Toon heaven.

Who’s the likely casualty? It could be somebody who is really peripheral, such as The Comic Book Guy. But Scully seemed to suggest it would be a bigger character.

Here, in reverse order, are our top 10 most-likely candidates, with odds:

Apu (100-1): The Quickie Mart manager gets shot at least once every four or five episodes. That’s gotta hurt after a while. But since he has emerged as one of the show’s best characters, they’d hardly bump him off.

Mr. Burns (50-1): There’s only so many fresh blood transfusions you can pump into one man. Still, no way Smithers would ever let the old man expire.

Barney (25-1): You gotta figure alcohol-poisoning has to catch up with this booze hound. The show wouldn’t be the same, however, without that trademark belch.

Moe the Bartender (12-1): This shifty character has a lot of enemies. Only question: Would they hold the wake at the bar?

Otto the school bus driver (10-1): Have you seen this punk drive? It’s a wonder he’s still alive.

Principal Skinner (7-1): He’s such a dweeb, he’s gonna get knifed by that crazy groundskeeper Willie one of these days.

Patti and Selma (5-1, coupled entry): All that chain-smoking might finally catch up with them. As Homer would say, “Whoo-hoo!”

Grandpa Simpson (3-1): Like the sign says back at the old-folks home: “It’s been (4, 5, whatever) days since the last passing.” Still, that would just be too sad.

Krusty the Clown (even odds): He already has got a bad ticker. And it would be just like The Simpsons to have this old vaudevillian die with his slap shoes on. Oh, the humanity!